It’s been two weeks since I pretended I would write and update three times a week. I’m hilarious. But every day is a new chance to fuck up something different.
Most of the reason I haven’t had the heart to babble is because everything feels so heavy and awful with lots of yelling and very little listening. And I feel stuck and hopeless and then complicit then shameful. Repeat, repeat, repeat.
So rather than preach to tired ears, I’m going to talk about mom boners.
Mom boners are the things that make my life a billion times easier to either mom or free up time to do things other than mom. I am not paid to endorse any of these things. Just passing along info.
1. Duluth Trading Co. OMG toddler-proof clothes for ME. Most days I chase around in either workout clothes (because I might actually workout or I haven’t showered) or Duluth stuff. I own outerwear, shirts, pants, tanks, socks, and underwear. Outside of a couple No-Yank Tanks that require an absurd amount of yanking, everything dries fast, fits well, is durable, is cozy, and I don’t worry about it getting dirty. Because it’s made for that.
Also the pants: they have what they literally call “Pointy Things” pockets. How many times a day I walk through the house and find something that has either been left where it shouldn’t be or Jack pulls a carpet staple out of the stairs, mmmm a billion. Shove them in the Pointy Things pocket and move on!
Also this robe: it has a loop for your glasses and I have never been more in my truth than when I’m wearing it. Hashtag born this way hashtag born 85 years young.
2. A roaster oven. When we moved into our rental house I had a huge mom boner for the double ovens and the gas range. The double ovens did not last. The upper unit control panel died. Then I discovered that my roaster did not fit in the oven AFTER preparing a roast and the vegetables, etc. I attempted another roast in an aluminum pan and long story short the chicken actually wasn’t cooked after all. SO.
After a LOT of swearing and apologizing, I remembered we had a gift card and ordered one and it came in like two days. Fuck up dinner on Saturday. Have a new appliance on Tuesday. America.
3. Pinterest recipes. I know you can just get a recipe book but I change my mind a lot about what I want to make for dinners. And we get bored. The easiest thing to do is just to use their search function. The boards are divided into an absurd number of options so you can keep selecting subtopics to get what you want. I know this isn’t a brain-buster but I appreciate it.
4. Meal planning tools. Ok, SO *rubs hands together in giddy fashion* we subscribed to Blue Apron for a while and it was fun and fine. But it got repetitive and sometimes we didn’t manage to cook the meals before some of the produce went bad. But they have these handy recipe cards with ingredients on one side and directions on the other. We kept all of them, maybe 30 or so.
They were all shoved in a drawer and we kept talking about all the ones we really liked. So me, being bored AF and needing something new to control, decided to Type A the shit out of it. I got a 3-hole binder, punched all the cards, organized them by vegetarian and protein, then ordered within the protein by amount of time from 25-60 minutes. THEN I got little note flags and tagged the ones that were 30 minutes with blue, meals we both liked with pink, and their Master Chef meals with yellow.
I take IMMENSE joy in this binder.
Tool 2 is just a note list that has a magnet on the back that sticks to the fridge so when we run out of stuff I can jot it down.
Tool 3 is a magnetic chalkboard that is also on the fridge where I can write down what meals we are having that week. You know, so Eric can be disappointed in advance. But even if we don’t have them in the order listed it takes a lot of the frantic squirreling out of dinner time because I already know basically what we’re having. I can also defrost things the night before.
5. Home gym equipment. I would NEVER workout if I had to go somewhere. I would probably walk around town with the stroller but I’m personally not built to lose any weight or stay in shape that way. Luckily it’s Eric’s job to stay in shape so we are fortunate to have a bunch of nice equipment, like Bowflex treadmill and this MAX climber. I have my SportBlock weights that go from like six to 24 pounds so you can quick change for different exercises. Also have resistance bands like whoa because they are easy to use.
Bored yet? I can tell you about my turkey roasting fiasco next time. K, bye.
Possibly Gifted 